iMeetzu news, updates, and commentary

Online dating sites can be a great place to meet like-minded people you would otherwise never know existed. Everyone who has ever used a dating site has had to complete the sometimes nerve wracking process of creating a profile which will represent that individual’s personality to all prospective dates. Giving insight into one’s life using a couple of pictures and a few ‘about me’ blurbs can be difficult, but sometimes people seem to reveal a lot of telling details by complete accident. Here are 25 dating site pictures that are creepy, funny, and just plain weird:

1. An Invitation to Child Services

Display of wildly inappropriate behavior in front of a small child aside, this lovely lady is clearly under the impression that what she’s doing is attractive.

2. Harry the Zombie

This guy looks like he’s about to gum someone to death, but is really just a sweet old man looking for that special someone. Harry enjoys staring into space, not blinking, breathing heavily, and scratching the bald spots around his lobotomy scars.

3. Insane Clown Posing in Mom’s Kitchen

He just wants a hug. Enjoys toenail panting sessions while engaging in light gossip, not cleaning the kitchen, and literally looking like one of those weird dogs with the curly haired ears.

4. Man Baby

Believe it or not, wearing diapers and acting like what is called an ‘adult baby’ is a real fetish. If you like cleaning feces out of an older man’s ass, this is the guy for you.

5. Look Past the Exterior to Get Into the Interior

Haha, and no, silly girls, I’m not talking about the bakery. Although powdered donuts are delicious and quite a nice treat for any time of the day (especially after long nights of TOTALLY ROCKING OUT to NIGHTWISH). I like to listen to music, buy shirts online, and totally pwn my little brother all day long! I think my dinner is ready I gotta go but I’ll finish my profile a little la

6. Ineptitude

A girl trapped in the year 1996 still doesn’t know how to crop the photograph which only shows half of her face anyway.

7. CatDude42

Cat wallpaper, cat pictures hanging on the wall. If the date consists of playing scrabble at his mom’s house while we all discuss the wacky habits of her cats whilst sipping tea, I’ll be the first to sign up.

8. Cult Leader Jim

Jim wants to show you how he would make every moment together unique and special – by slipping drugs into your drink and convincing you he is an otherworld entity whom you should follow and worship. Men eat first, then the dogs, then the women. Is that hat even real?

9. Confused Mime Climbs Rope

Sexy, right? Say it’s sexy or be crushed!

10. Stay Classy

At least we know she has a sense of humor.

11. Sexual Pikachu

The nightmare your life becomes after taking too much acid.

12. Magician of Tin Foil Castle

The guy who covers the walls in tin foil to stop the government from spying on him is a classic species of lunatic and/or meth addict. Careful not to look directly into the globe, lest you be turned into a cheeto and consumed.

13. Aging Man Who Loves Hot Topic

This guy takes an extra ten minutes to put on and remove all of those accessories every day, and there’s no way a chain or leather strap between fingers can be comfortable. But he does it for fashion.

14. Thugzilla

Thugzilla and his hos have come to take over the city with crappy photoshops and weird, awkward arm flailing.

15. Face Down

Hi everyone. Open minded single male here. This is a picture from when I was at my cousin Larry’s wedding and I got totally drunk as heck off of wine spritzers! If eating and wine spritzers interest you, hit me up!

16. Lizard Man

Some people are great at unintentionally warning others about themselves.

17. AUUUGH

Getting stabbed is so sexy.

18. The Awkward Anus

The butt growing out of her head looks pretty uncomfortable.

19. Noseless

This is obviously nowhere near an accurate portrayal of the person being photographed. A weird and creepy caricature.

20. AnimeLover1996

Ladies what can I say. I work hard in order to play hard. As you may have noticed, my hobbies include anime cinematography (although my mom always takes my manga away when I do something bad! Paws off my manga, mom!) Also I like to play videogames as you may have noticed from my Legend of Zelda: Triforce Edition beanie.

Are fourteen year olds allowed on dating sites?

21. Beaver Poke

Eagerness to poke dead shit with a stick is an important quality to look for in a girl.

22. Princess Hamrietta

The perfect match for Cult Leader Jim, or even the Magician of Tin Foil Castle.

23. Too Old to be Emo

A drowned rat escapes from the shower drain.

24. Ironic Hipster Skank

25. Golden Skull

Another gem from mom’s house. “Mom, take a picture of me with this skull I bought at Goodwill for two dollars.”

The sheer number of perverts that frequent chat sites is astounding. However, one clever iMeetzu user had the will power and time on his or her hands to attempt to fight back with this magnificent piece of aesthetic mastery.

If only I possessed the skill, prowess, and indignation that this fellow surely does. Oh well, some day maybe I too will make a valiant attempt to combat the perverts that frequent such sites.

Do you ever wonder if people think something you said was dumb? Do you ever wish you could retract that retarded statement you made when you were trying to be funny but ended up coming off as a condescending a-hole or ultra retarded retard? No worries, we’ve all been there, and it’s so much easier for people to negatively misinterpret your intended crappy sarcasm while chatting online. But what exactly is it about whatever you said that made it so ridiculously stupid? What is it about you that makes you at times become such an ultimate retard of society? Well, here some noteworthy examples.

1. The Accidental Insult

You’ve finally found the hot girl of your dreams in an anonymous chat room, so long as she isn’t actually a hairy old wizard-hat-wearing pedophile. You’re talking about typical boring crap, such as how horrid the weather is in your crappy location and how often you find yourself partaking in fart wars with your boss at McDonalds while flipping hamburgers. But then, you suddenly realize you just made a massive mistake. The girl mentioned she weighed a mere 100 lbs, and you responded that your scrawny self could carry her fat butt at least a good 5 steps before dropping her on her own head. Of course, this psychotic anorexic hottie took what you said the wrong way, called you a disrespectful a-hole, and disconnected within seconds. So much for the two hours of adventures with perverted 58-year-old foreign men you spent trying to find her.

2. The Undetectable Sarcasm

Often times, while chatting online, people will employ sarcasm to lighten the mood. However, many people in this world simply don’t understand what sarcasm is, or how to detect it. This most especially applies to the uptight and goody goody types, and is an exceptionally prevalent occurrence online, when the tone of your voice, facial expressions, and hand movements are nonexistent. So, although you said you would marry Ms. HottieWithABody6969 over the internet through a video chat with Chris Hansen as your best man and then take her on a honeymoon to 2Girls1Cup in a totally sarcastic manner, she totally misinterpreted you as being 100% serious and subsequently thought you were a World of Warcraft playing clingy virgin stalker, leading to an immediate disconnection.

3. The Comment You Meant To Leave in Your Head

You typed and sent it before you realized what you were doing, “I want to do so many epic things to you right now”. The end result? “SexyMama18: Pervert!” and then a disconnection.

4. The Compliment That Wasn’t As Nice As You Hoped

“You’re like Britney Spears but with better pantie-less pictures”. Disconnect.

5. The Joke That Wasn’t Funny

Honestly, only about 25% of the jokes I hear from people tend to be funny. However, that doesn’t account for the wittier friends versus the friends that are more likely to often say dumb things. Regardless, you really need to consider ahead of time whether or not people will find a certain joke funny. For example, if a group of people were just exclaiming how horrible racism is these days, don’t go up to them and tell a derogatory racial joke – save that for the white power guys you see at the next country fair. Something similar applies online, only you will have to extract information about someone as you go. But it’s not only the audience, it’s also the joke, especially with more generic ones. Seriously, the whole “knock knock whose there” deal lost its funny factor ages ago, so just don’t do it. Granted, you might get an erotic playful response at first from a ridiculously bored chatter, but once you get to the punch line “boo who? why are you crying?”, I would be highly surprised to see a connection remain intact, other than for a quick rebuttal along the lines of “because you didn’t lick my hairy…”.

So there you have it, 5 ways to sound retarded while chatting online. Now you have been educated on 5 things not to do in order to maintain your dignity, but chances are you already knew them anyway.

Not long ago, or at least not too long ago, the Lord of the Rings trilogy lit up our world with its sexy elven princesses, brutal orcs, and short plump hobbits. However, since then I often wonder what became of all such personages? What happened to the once noble Frodo, the nasty-way-too-little-clothes-wearing Smeagol, and the orgasmic ring? I mean, just because the ring and Smeagol fell into a pit of flaming lava doesn’t mean they both actually disintegrated right? At any rate, in a recent random chat log discovery it would seem that Frodo has resurfaced:

http://imeetzu.com/log/182858

Granted, this wasn’t the most entertaining resurfacing occurrence, but at least we now know he’s still out there, and apparently he still thinks Smeagol and the ring somehow survived the flaming lava. Are we missing something here? Maybe Smeagol’s mere touching of the ring had a shielding effect on his body? Maybe a fourth movie is in the works? Or maybe the chatter was just some hairy-chested, furry-backed, wild-haired, and wizard-hat-wearing old pedophile looking for some late night entertainment. The truth alludes us, that is, unless you know something I don’t.

Do you ever just get that urge to piss off random strangers you don’t even know? I know I do. And what better venue to do such a thing than internet chat rooms, a beautiful invention that keeps you out of range from any sort of physical retaliation, while still allowing you to indulge in your sickening habits? Well frankly, I don’t think there is a better venue, especially when you have such great sites nowadays for meeting strangers. At any rate, here are five of my favorite ways to make strangers hate your guts. Disclaimer: These methods are meant solely for internet chat rooms, not real life, so please don’t sue me for a 48-year-old-Guido-damaged wizard cape.

1. Impersonate a Girl

Granted, if you are a girl this won’t work, so what you should do instead is impersonate a guy who already is impersonating a girl. This should still allow you to achieve the same end result, at least if you possess a decent talent at said impersonation. At any rate, the girl impersonation process isn’t too hard to go through. Just remember not to make manly statements like “I just took a massive crap, you should see it!” or “My pubes are extra sticky tonight.” That being said, you want to have a more friendly/flirty/girly attitude in general. Guys looking for girls for perverted reasons are typically the easiest targets of all, because they’re thinking with something besides their heads. The main caveat to this entire impersonation is getting the guy to send you some sort of semi-revealing picture or getting him to confide some sort of love for you, and then writing in all caps “I’M A DUDE I JUST PLAYED YOU LIKE A FOOL BIZNIATCH!” or something similar. Oh yes, also, it’s always better if you pretend to be ultra young. Here’s a useful picture and profile to get you started if you need one:

http://www.imeetzu.com/Sophia

2. Pretend to be Chris Hansen

Yes, I know a lot of people tend to not believe such things these days, but every once in a while you will stumble upon the most gullible of chatters, at which point using such a tactic is thoroughly amusing. And if the chatter is actually a pedophile, maybe he’ll even go as far as to try and defend himself or say something else ridiculous similar to what you would see on To Catch a Predator.

3. Impersonate an iMeetzu Staff Member

I’ve seen this tactic used by people with some insanely funny (or maybe just plain mean) results, including getting the horrified chatter to give up personal contact information such as phone number, address, etc. I know, it doesn’t make sense right? How could a meet strangers site staffer wield such cyber-power? Honestly, I have no clue, but if you play the role well you might be in for some quality entertainment!

4. Just be Plain Mean

This tactic may sound all too simple, but in order for it to be ultimately effective you need to start out as a nice courteous chatter, and then all of the sudden burst out with the witty insulting remarks. The first step should be to garner as much background information as possible about the other chatter, before unleashing a whirlwind of offensive remarks that rile up the chatter and make him or her at least attempt to fire back.

5. Combine the previous 4 Ways

This is essentially the ultimate combination. Start off as a girl (Way #1), then morph into Chris Hansen (Way #2), then say you’re also an iMeetzu staff member now (Way #3), and then after extracting all information possible start throwing insults like that Iraqi guy who threw his shoe at President George W Bush, only with better aim and more rapid fire (Way #4).

So there you have it, 4 basic ways and one more complex but ridiculously rewarding way. Granted, they’re all somewhat rewarding, but the last one is by far the most entertaining, yet at the same time the most difficult to successfully pull off. Good luck with your making strangers hate you endeavors!

We’ve all heard the lame excuse that parents use to steer you away from getting what they want. The old “don’t talk to strangers” thing. But I’ve uncovered the truth about why they don’t want you talking to them, it’s because they want the strangers all to themselves! For instance, ever been offered something from a stranger and said “No!” and ran away because your so-called “parents” told you not to talk to them?

Well they really give you what they say they’re going to. Or has a stranger ever rang the bell when no one’s home and you didn’t answer because your “parents” told you not to? Wrong again! 99% of the time those strangers aren’t strangers at all but the Publishers Clearance House announcing you won a million dollars and now you missed out. Anyways here are the top 5 reasons you SHOULD talk to strangers.

5. To help them find their lost dog. :(

Why wouldn’t you help a creepy man find his dog? Once you find it you get to play with it! And he may even give you…

4. FREE CANDY!

What kid in their right mind would pass up free candy? Halloween only comes around once a year. And think about it…don’t your parents give out free candy? Your parents are strangers to all the little kids that come to your door. So take the candy!

3. Not talking to strangers fosters mistrust and fear of all other people.

Then you grow up believing life is about competition and secrecy and that everyone else is out to get you. You will contribute only misery, misunderstanding, and conflict to the world, and ensure that racism, hate, and war will be a permanent hallmark of humanity. It all starts when we are children. Make the world a better place – talk to strangers before it’s too late.

2. Strangers aren’t really strangers, they’re just friends you haven’t met yet.

Every single stranger out there has the potential to be your next best friend. Why pass up a friendly offer from a stranger?

1. People like this are strangers! :)

http://imeetzu.com/sexymama

Think about it. You can meet strangers like this! I want to talk to a stranger right now!

So get out there, start talking to all the strangers you can! Remember the more strangers you talk to the more lost dogs you can find, the more free candy you get, the more best friends you’ll have, and if you never talk to strangers you may never get to talk to a “sexymama”….

This blog has been rather neglected, but now we have some great news! The new iMeetzu is complete, sort of. We still have a lot of features in the pipeline, but in terms of basic necessities and what we envisioned iMeetzu becoming, all the pieces have mostly come together. We even went ahead and issued an official press release!

At any rate, it has been a long road from iMeetzu’s beginning as a very basic one-on-one chat service back in late July 2009 to what it has become today! Now it is a cross between Facebook, Omegle, and Hot Or Not. It’s a new type of social network, promoting “open source conversationlism”. But then again, there is still the option to privatize one’s conversations, so maybe “open source” isn’t the best way to describe it. A better way might be to call it a “conversational social network”, a phrase brought to my attention by KillerStartups when they recently reviewed the site.

Regardless of what it should be called, it is definitely something the internet has never seen before. We are indebted to all our users who have helped us mold iMeetzu into what it is today. The feedback has been extremely helpful, and we will continue to use it in the future! Now, our main focus has shifted to marketing our creation, and we have some promotions coming up soon that will hopefully help get the word out, and get iMeetzu the attention it needs to make it the true form of what we envision. After all, what’s a social network without lots of people to socialize with? You can help to by telling your friends, so don’t be shy! Thanks again to all our users, and we hope to make iMeetzu much better in the near future.

Within a couple of days we should be launching the new version of iMeetzu. It will have tons of new features, and you will never go back to Omegle again. For a sneak peak of one of the new features and more information on what the new site will be like, check out Aaron’s blog post.

Also, not too long after launch we will likely be releasing an iPhone application. Check out Josh’s blog post for more information on that.

Other future developments will likely include a Facebook application, and of course there will be a lot of evolving features as soon as you provide us with more of your oh so helpful feedback!

Stay tuned, the big launch is near.

You can send pictures now! We’re adding way more features than Omegle, and we’re going to keep them coming.

New features coming out soon include: New conversation publishing and rating system, new user registration system, your own profiles, and so much more! Don’t worry, you can still chat anonymously, you just have the option to let the other person know who you are if you want, by adding them or sending them a link to your profile.

We will also be adding a new nicer layout, so stay tuned to let us know what you think of it!

Ok, so we know the image uploading feature has been kinda messed up lately. We just got it all figured out, so within 4 hours of this post pictures should be back to working normal.  The problem came from complications that arose when we moved this website to it’s new web server. At any rate, we’re all set now! Share the site with your friends, spread the word, and send us feedback to help us make this the best chat/stranger/friend site ever!

With the launch of our website we found it necessary to create a blog to keep everyone updated on all the exciting news and updates going on around here! And, more importantly (*cough* *cough*), we wanted to give you a chance to submit your favorite conversations (EDIT 11-09-09:  No longer relevant with the new site) from iMeetzu.com here so that we can post them for everyone’s viewing pleasure!

We have a lot of projects in the works for iMeetzu.com, and we are definitely taking all your feedback into consideration! Popular requests include a picture trading function, a way to save contacts so that you can stay in touch, and a way to choose the type of people you would prefer to be connected with. We know, and we’re working on allowing you to do all of this. So stay tuned, and spread the word about iMeetzu.com!