iMeetzu news, updates, and commentary

Some celebrity relationships are odd, making you scratch your head and think, “How did those two ever get together?” Others, however, are inappropriate, for one reason or another. Perhaps there’s a blood tie between the two making the relationship incestuous (or borderline incestuous). In other cases, a relationship might be considered inappropriate due to age, prior relationship with the person in another capacity, or simply, the “ick” factor. Here are some of the most inappropriate relationships celebrities have ever found themselves in.

Usually esteemed actor Morgan Freeman, age 72, has a secret: he’s been carrying on a relationship with his step granddaughter, E’Dena Hines, age 27, for the past 10 years!! (Meaning he started seeing her when she was just 17!!) Technically they are not blood relatives, but Freeman was married to Hines’ grandmother and even helped raise her. Gross! Freeman is still married to his second wife (not Hines’ grandmother) whom he allegedly left for Hines. Added to that, Hines has recently confirmed that she and Freeman are trying to have a baby. Could this relationship be any more inappropriate? Source

Rocker Jerry Lee Lewis committed a host of unspeakable sins when he married Myra Gale Brown in 1957. First, she was just 13 years old. Second, she was his cousin (technically, the daughter of his first cousin, but still quite a close blood relation). And third, at the time of the marriage, Lewis was still married to another woman. Lewis and Brown had two children (one of whom drowned as a toddler) during their 13 year marriage. Guess that’s about the only part of this story that was fitting – he married her at age 13, and they were married for 13 years. Then again, when your relationship is doomed from the start, seeing lots of unlucky 13’s pop up is par for the course. Source

This relationship was doomed from the start. Gosselin, the famous father of eight who was a TV reality star, began cheating on wife Kate with Glassman (among others, but she was one of his most publicized mistresses). Their relationship was highly inappropriate as Glassman was the 23 year old daughter of the plastic surgeon who had done his wife’s televised tummy tuck. Later, the reality couple had an onscreen breakup as well, on “Entertainment Tonight.” Apparently Gosselin got tired of Glassman’s nagging him about his kids. Sounds like a pattern here… Source 1 Source 2

Before you ask, “who?”Linda Hogan is the 41 year old ex-wife of ex-wrestler Hulk Hogan and a reality TV star in her own right. Charlie Hill is the 19 year old best friend of her son. Talk about a cougar! Plus, at the time Hogan and Hogan were still married. In addition to calling Hill a boy-toy, we can now safely assume he’s brainless as well. Who would sleep with an ex-wrestler’s wife, especially when the ex-wrestler is huge and could easily kick your ass? Source

See if you can follow this one… it’s complicated. Law had an affair with his children’s nanny, Daisy Wright, while engaged to Sienna Miller. Even worse, the slut went public with the gory details of their couplings. The then 26 year old nanny/skank described sex with the then 32 year old actor as “mind blowing…rampant…wonderful” and even described a time when Law’s young son walked in on them doing the deed and thought he was having a bad dream. The son busted the couple’s couplings with him mom, Law’s ex-wife Sadie Frost, who of course immediately fired Wright. Law admitted publicly to cheating on his fiancée with the nanny, then turned around and blamed Miller for his affair. But oddly enough, the couple is now back together (Miller and Law, that is). This round robin makes one dizzy… Source

OK, maybe this one doesn’t technically qualify as a “relationship” but it’s still inappropriate (and funny as hell). Hugh Grant was dating knockout Elizabeth Hurley in 1995 at the time of his arrest for soliciting prostitute Divine Brown. While brown turned a $60 trick for him in his BMW, police watching the car noticed that its brake lights kept flashing on and off, and were drawn to the car. Grant and Brown were subsequently arrested. Grant publicly apologized on late night television, but the story had already become a classic by then. They only technically “knew” each other for about 30 minutes, tops, but their interaction has earned a spot among the most inappropriate relationships of all time. Source

Everyone should agree that this relationship was inappropriate. Recently, ex-druggie and sometime-actress Mackenzie Phillips revealed in her memoir that she’d had a long sexual relationship with her now-deceased father (who’s conveniently deceased and can’t defend himself – but then again, why would she lie about this? Certainly not just to sell books, right?) This revelation also opportunely came out while Mackenzie was on VH1’s “Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew,” and made many viewers tune in to hear her sickening story. Enough said about this inappropriate relationship – it’s garnered Mackenzie far too much attention in the press already. Source

Woody committed the ultimate inappropriate act when he began a relationship with the stepdaughter of his former lover, Mia Farrow. He actually took naked s of Soon-Yi Previn, which Farrow discovered. Oops! And if the familial connections aren’t enough to make this relationship inappropriate, there’s the 34 year age difference between Allen and Previn (she was 27 and he was 61 when the relationship began). Everyone thought they wouldn’t last, but his relationship has been going on since 1997, so maybe they know something we don’t? Source

These two had one of Hollywood’s longest-running marriages, until she filed for divorce in 2008. Williams met Marsha Garces when she was the nanny to his son with his first wife. He was having affairs with other women, not the nanny, causing his first marriage to go belly up. Then he married Garces in 1989. Now, he and Garces have split, citing irreconcilable differences. This relationship might have started out in a seemingly inappropriate manner, but it spawned an almost 20 year marriage that produced two children. Source

Rapper R. Kelly is the king of inappropriate relationships. First, he was charged with having sex with a 13 year old after a sex tape emerged in which it appeared Kelly was urinating on young girls. (He was found not guilty of that crime). Then, in 2008, it was reported that the then 41 year old had had a relationship with Maxine Daniels, age 21, who was the daughter of his publicist. Kelly’s camp said the relationship was hardly “inappropriate,” as the girl’s mother, Regina (the publicist) and father, George, had encouraged it while it was going on. The girl, however, was a teenager when the relationship supposedly began. Regina resigned as Kelly’s publicist. Maxine says she wishes the relationship never happened in the first place. “My brief relationship with Kelly last year ended because my parents were starting to hear rumors that we were together, and I was beginning to feel like it wasn’t a healthy situation, especially with the pain it was causing me and my family,” she said. When it comes to Kelly and relationships, it seems that either urine or you’re out. Source 1 Source 2 Source 3

As the old saying goes, “opposites attract.” We’ve all seen this in our daily lives, perhaps even in our own relationships. Sometimes it might be the case that having dissimilar personalities, looks, or attitudes really do endear a couple to each other. Even with celebrities, sometimes odd couples end up falling madly in love and living happily ever after (or at least, for the next few months or so before they have a public row and end up hating each other’s guts for the rest of their lives). Here are ten of the oddest celebrity couples who currently seem to be head over heels about each other.

Although there have been many questions surrounding his sexuality, rumor has it that “American Idol” host Ryan Seacrest is dating ex-“Dancing With the Stars” babe and country singer Julianne Hough. Simon Cowell let it slip in a post-Idol interview that Seacrest had recently had a date with Hough. Added to that little fact, Seacrest often gushes about Hough on his radio show. If the two are dating, they’re keeping it tightly under wraps, as Hough herself denied the coupling in an interview with OK! Magazine. Only time – and the paparazzo’s cameras — will tell…. Source 1 Source 2

Sanjaya who? Remember him? The highly untalented “American Idol” finalist from Season 6? Apparently when he and Heidi Montag’s sister, another relative unknown named Holly Montag, appeared on the reality television show, “I’m a Celebrity – Get Me Out of Here!” the rumors started flying that the two were an item. Montag admitted to being Malakar’s best friend, and said that she found him “attractive,” but nothing more. However, the media reported that following the program, Montag was flying to Kauai to meet Malakar’s parents. Sounds serious! The two continued to deny the rumors, despite the fact that Montag’s sister and husband, Spencer Pratt, were constantly pushing them together in the media. Perhaps they were just looking for a way to keep their own names relevant? Those 15 minutes of fame should be just about over by now….. Source 1 Source 2

This one has been confirmed, by the lead singer of the Smashing Pumpkins himself: Billy Corgan and Jessica Simpson are in love. In a recent interview with Rolling Stone magazine, Corgan comments, “I think if people knew her like I knew her, they would love her like I do.” The two reportedly met at a party in 2009. At 42, Corgan seems a bit more jaded than Simpson, 29, and the boyfriends she’s used to (think Nick Lachey, John Mayer). However, sometimes opposites really do attract. Maybe that’s the case here. Source 1 Source 2

Fifty-one year old Madonna dating a 22 year old boy toy – what’s so odd about that? Luz is a Brazilian model and seems to be the first steady boyfriend Mo has had since the breakup of her eight year-long marriage to Guy Ritchie. Madonna reportedly met Luz at a magazine shoot two years ago. Although she’s old enough to be his mother, (actually Luz has a grandmother who’s just a bit older than Madonna), she’s already introduced him to her children, usually a sign things are getting serious. After using controversial religious symbolism and vamping it up in videos for hit singles such as “Like a Prayer,” guess it was only a matter of time before Madonna started dating someone named Jesus. Source 1 Source 2

He’s a 41 year old heavy metal rocker who likes to shock and scare people. She’s a 22 year old actress who’s already received critical acclaim. How did these two end up together, let alone engaged to be married? The couple met in 2006, dated for two years, then broke up for a while. Since getting back together, Manson has said he never wanted to lose Wood again (although he told Spin magazine in 2008 that he fantasized daily about bashing her head in with a sledgehammer) because she helps him to be the best he can be. Wood describes Manson as “lovely, really human and just amazing.” Here’s hoping the marriage between these strangely matched individuals really does work. Source 1 Source 2

Another odd coupling, Perry, 25, and Brand, 34, were engaged to be married recently. The couple met on New Year’s Eve 2009. Brand proposed to Perry a few months ago while the two were vacationing in India. The former heroin addict and womanizer calls her “demanding” but promises to be faithful to Perry, who costars with him in the movie “Get Him to the Greek.” For her part, Perry says she feels like she and Brand are the new Brad and Angelina (or Brangelina, if you’re trying to be cute). Is this just another lame attempt by two questionably talented people to try to claim a bit more of the spotlight? Or is it “true love?” We’ll have to wait for that burning question to be answered, in time. Source

Actor/producer/writer Cohen met Australian actress Fisher in 2002 and the two had a child together, but kept putting off their wedding date because of career commitments. Finally in 2010, they tied the knot. Fisher claims to be with Cohen because he makes her laugh. The two try to keep their relationship private, but Fisher has said, “He definitely makes me laugh more than anyone, which is hence why I’m marrying him.” This pairing just goes to show the funny guys get the hottest girls. Source

Warning: you must have a strong stomach to consider this love match. The “mature” Rourke, who’s been looking a bit ragged as of late, was rumored to be dating the always-a-mess Love by British tabloid The Mirror in 2010. If that idea doesn’t give you nightmares, nothing will. Rourke later publicly denied the rumor, telling TMZ, “I’d rather be on a deserted island with a gorilla” (than date Love). Curiously, the idea of Rourke with a gorilla doesn’t seem quite as scary a notion as the idea of him with Cobain’s former wife. Source

A gorgeous model plus a shock-rock disc jockey = a marriage made in heaven? For Ostrosky, 37, and Stern, 56, it looks as if this could be the case. The two married in 2008 after dating from the time of their first meeting in 2000. Their looks are a bit unequal, but not according to Ostroksy, who said, “I think there are a million, maybe even a trillion girls who are better looking! I don’t mean to put myself down, but the most attractive thing about me is definitely my boyfriend! It’s so true! I’m being so truthful!” The sentiment behind that kind of statement must be a by-product of true love. Source 1 Source 2

In one of the oddest decisions of the many strange and controversial ones she’s made during her lifetime, Carey, then 38, married Cannon, who was 27 at the time, in 2008. The two have been so sickly sweet and publicly lovey-dovey in the press that it makes normal people gag, gushing about how much they love each other. They even renewed their vows earlier this year, a mere 2 years from when they got married. Now, there’s talk of a baby in the works. God only knows how much more annoying these two will become now that a little Cannon is about to be fired from Carey in nine months or so. Source 1 Source 2

In the crazy, fast-paced world of Hollywood, celebrities tend to date fellow celebrities. The thinking behind that idea is that celebrities understand what it’s like to be in the limelight constantly and can handle relationships with fellow celebrities better than non-celebrities could. However, some of Hollywood’s most successful relationships and marriages have been between celebrities and non-celebrities, shattering that time-held belief. Here are ten celebrities who have been successfully married to or in love with a non-celebrity for years.

Hunky actor Matt Damon met Argentine-born bartender and interior designer Luciana Bozan Barroso on Miami Beach in 2003 while he was filming “Stuck on You.” They married in December 2005. The couple have two children of their own and a third on the way, and Barroso has a daughter from her first marriage. Although Damon has called the idea of marriage “ridiculous” in the press, he has said so jokingly, as he says Barroso drives him crazy. Damon says, “Somebody said to me recently, ‘Wow, you really love marriage,’ and I said, ‘No, I think marriage is ridiculous; I think it’s a totally ridiculous idea.’ I love being married to my wife – she’s the best thing that ever happened to me, but if she ever left me, I wouldn’t do it again. Because it’s crazy – to spend your life with one person and not be totally driven crazy.” Source 1 Source 2 Source 3

Although she plays a Desperate Housewife on TV, Marcia Cross is anything but in real life. She met stockbroker Tom Mahoney in 2005, married him one year later, and has never looked back. It was the first marriage for both of them, and Cross said she was glad, after waiting till the age of 44 to get married. “I’m thrilled that I met someone that I want to spend the rest of my life with,” she said. Source

Although he’s not a doctor, he just plays one on TV, Patrick Dempsey met then-hair stylist Jillian Fink at a salon in 1999 when he was her client (before he was even a pretend doctor on “Grey’s Anatomy.”) Married that same year, the couple has three children. Dempsey attributes the success of their marriage to monthly marriage counseling “checkups” they attend together. He says, “It’s easier than fighting with someone.” Fink now is the founder of Delux Beauty. Source

4. Cynthia Nixon and Christine Marinoni

“Sex and the City” star Cynthia Nixon describes fiancée Christine Marinoni as “a short man with boobs.” After being in a heterosexual relationship for 16 years with high school sweetheart and photographer Danny Mozes (and having two children with him), she met public school advocate Marinoni in 2001 and they became friends while working on a school-issue campaign. The two fell in love, and became engaged two years ago. They plan to marry, and hope that New York legalizes gay marriage in time for them to do so in their home state. Source

Although they’ve been in the news more for their public brawls than for the strength of their marriage lately, Charlie Sheen and wife Brooke Mueller say they have no plans to divorce. Sheen met real estate investor Mueller in 2006 when they were introduced by friends Eric Dane and Rebecca Gayheart, and the two married in 2008. They have twin boys and are said to be trying to work out their marital problems, which includes physical and substance abuse on both parts, for the sake of their children. Source

Actor Eric Bana met publicist Rebecca Gleeson in 1995 and married her in 1997. The couple has two children and their marriage seems to be one of the rare success stories of Hollywood. Bana says their secret is constantly making each other laugh. “We definitely laugh together every day,” he says. “And I don’t mean chuckle – I can make her really laugh.” As for why their relationship has endured, Bana claims that maintaining a great friendship is the key. He says, “I think love can come fairly easily and grow – but really liking the core essence of someone is a much harder thing to bottle. If you have both, you’re in pretty good shape.” Source

Julia Roberts met then-married cameraman Danny Moder on the set of “The Mexican” in 2000. They married two years later. The couple has three children. Although there have recently been rumors about their marriage being in trouble, according to Roberts, things couldn’t be better. And she is still as smitten with Moder as ever. “I sort of worship my husband,” she said recently. “He really takes my breath away.” Source 1 Source 2

Ethan Hawke married pregnant girlfriend Ryan Shawhughes in 2008. What was interesting about this marriage, however, is the fact that Shawhughes was the nanny to Hawke’s children with wife Uma Thurman when the pair were still married. Time will tell if Hawke’s marriage to Shawhughes lasts longer than his seven-year union with Thurman (with whom he has two children), or if he’ll pull another Jude Law trick and cheat on his current wife with their nanny. Source 1 Source 2

Bridges met waitress, North Dakotan Geston, in 1974 on the set of “Rancho Deluxe” in Montana. They were married in 1977, and today have one of the most respected marriages in Hollywood. The couple has three children, and Geston is now a producer. According to Bridges, “Something I didn’t count on with marriage is that it’s gotten better on all fronts – the farther it goes on, it gets deeper and richer. He says they deal with marital squabbles, like all couples do. “”If you’re married you’ll have tough times, and it’s what you do when you reach those times. You draw a line, and then if your partner crosses that line you say, ‘Well, is that it?’ or, ‘Am I going to enlarge my concept of what love is?’ You open your heart. The next time you have a problem, you think, ‘I can’t lose this; it’s too precious.’” Source

Maguire met American jewelry designer Meyer in 2003 and married her in 2007. The couple have two children and seem to be living a happy life. She even created a wedding ring for him, which Maguire still wears. Meyer designed two rings at his request, in case he ever lost one, which he has yet to do. “He’s never worn any jewellery before and he warned me when we got married that he’d probably lose the wedding band, so I should make him a couple,” she explains. “But he’s still on the first one, and we’re over two and a half years married, so we’re doing good.” Meyer describes Maguire as an “amazing husband.” Source

Online dating services have become the preferred way for many busy singles to find love and companionship. It’s no wonder that many celebrities have turned to online dating services to search for Mr. or Ms. Right. No longer an embarrassment or a shame, online dating services are now the “in” way to meet that special someone. While not all celebrities who are rumored to have used online dating services have actually admitted it, a few have no qualms about telling the world they’re searching for love online. Here are ten celebrities who have either admitted to using online dating services or are strongly suspected of doing so.

1. Joan Rivers

Although she’s 76 years old, comedian Joan Rivers hasn’t lost any of that spunk that has made her famous all these years. This applies to her personal life as well. Rivers has admitted to posting ads on online dating sites such as Match.com. In 2006 she posted, “I love smart men, funny men, elegant men. If I had to choose between Brad Pitt stripped to the waist or an old George Clooney in a dinner jacket, George would win hands down.” Her profile on the site said she was looking for coffee and conversation. The self-proclaimed cougar met her most recent beau, 59 year old millionaire Norm Zada, who founded an adult magazine called Perfect 10, about women without plastic surgery. Yet he fell for Rivers, the queen of cosmetic procedures, anyway. Source

2. Halle Berry

Gorgeous Halle Berry, who is recently single again after splitting from her boyfriend of five years, Gabriel Aubry, has confessed to frequenting online dating chat rooms and dating websites. “I am never who I am,” Berry told an interviewer from Contact Music magazine in 2006 about her experiences online. “I have been to a couple of dating ones just to see what everybody is talking about. I chime in and say a little fun stuff.” Maybe she’ll return to the world of online dating now that she’s on the hunt for Mr. Right once again. Source

3. Rivers Cuomo

In 2005, after withstanding a two-year bout of celibacy, Rivers Cuomo, the lead singer for the alternative rock band Weezer, told Rolling Stone magazine that he signed up for an online dating service (although he didn’t specify which one). However, after he submitted his profile to the website, he says that they responded, “We’re sorry, but there is no one anywhere in the world that is appropriate for you,” and so Cuomo says he gave up on online dating. He ended up marrying Kyoko Ito in 2006, a Japanese girl he’d known since 1997. Source

4. Stephanie Pratt

One of the stars of MTV’s reality series “The Hills,” Stephanie Pratt is no stranger to online dating sites. She has been on the live webcam dating site WooMe.com (according to the company). Pratt, who is the sister to “The Hills” star Spencer Pratt (who wed Heidi Montag) does not seem to have found love there, although her troubles with substance abuse, shoplifting and bulimia are still making news. Perhaps she will find love through her recent posing nude for PETA’s “Be Nice to Bunnies” iPhone application. Source 1 | Source 2 | Source 3 | Source 4

5. Chace Crawford

Actor Chace Crawford, who stars on the television show “Gossip Girl,” recently told Now magazine that he finds it hard to date and would gladly use an online dating service. “I was chatting to a friend about speed-dating and JDate.com — and I’m not even Jewish,” he said. “I have a bunch of different accounts that no one even knows about.” He said he’s wary of dating anyone, particularly American women, as he’s not sure who he can trust, and told the interviewer from the United Kingdom’s magazine that he’s open to dating a British girl. Source

6. Matthew Perry

Former “Friends” star Matthew Perry has reportedly used online dating site Rich Soulmate. In fact, when the United Kingdom’s Now magazine reported in 2008 that he had a profile on the site stating that he was “cute and adorable, yet pained and lonely,” the site received so many hits that it crashed. Whether or not he really had posted a profile on Rich Soulmate, it’s hard to say. Perry has dated many famous women through the years, including Julia Roberts, Elizabeth Hurley, and Neve Campbell. Currently, he’s rumored to be seeing actress Natasha Gregson, Natalie Wood’s oldest daughter. Source 1 | Source 2

7. Charlie Sheen

Charlie Sheen is rumored to have used online dating site MillionaireMatch.com. The site claims their dating service is used by “CEOs, pro athletes, doctors, lawyers, investors, entrepreneurs, beauty queens, fitness models, and Hollywood celebrities.” Whether or not Sheen was one of them remains to be seen. Of course, everyone knows his current marital problems with wife Brooke Mueller. Perhaps he’ll be returning to the world of online dating soon. Source 1 | Source 2

8. Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay Lohan has had her share of media coverage over the past few years, most of it negative. It’s no wonder that she might have a hard time trying to find someone to date. In 2009, it was reported that she had broken up with girlfriend Samantha Ronson and was looking for love online. Rumors circulated that she had posted a profile on EHarmony.com (the mock video she filmed that was circulated on the Internet and posted on FunnyorDie.com turned out to be a joke). Of course, with celebrities, it’s hard to say whether a profile posted on an online dating site is really theirs. So-called celebrity profiles are commonly faked on these sites. Lohan has never said publicly if she would consider online dating, but with her track record, it might not be a bad idea. Source 1 | Source 2

9. Jennifer Aniston

Poor Jennifer Aniston has been so unlucky in love. She lost hubby Brad Pitt to that conniving wench Angelina Jolie. It seems that she has finally given up on reconciling with Pitt. This year it was reported that Aniston has hired a professional online matchmaker, Kelleher International, paying them six figures to help her find the love of her life. It has been reported that Aniston is so anxious to finally find Mr. Right she’d pay an agency a million bucks to help her. Here’s hoping she’s successful in her search and doesn’t ever cave in to take Brad back. You go, girl! Source

10. Tila Tequila

Reality star Tila Tequila is no stranger to searching for love, as her MTV program “A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila” states in its title. Live webcam dating site WooMe.com claims she’s been a member of their service. She has never confirmed nor denied this claim, but has had her share of volatile relationships. Most recently, she dated football star Shawne Merriman and claimed to have been choked by him. Her fiancé, Casey Johnson, died in January 2010 of diabetic ketoacidosis. Tequila announced shortly after his death that she was pregnant, and is also trying to adopt Johnson’s daughter and a child from Haiti. Sounds like right now she might be a bit too busy to search for love online. Source 1 | Source 2 | Source 3 | Source 4

Online dating sites can be a great place to meet like-minded people you would otherwise never know existed. Everyone who has ever used a dating site has had to complete the sometimes nerve wracking process of creating a profile which will represent that individual’s personality to all prospective dates. Giving insight into one’s life using a couple of pictures and a few ‘about me’ blurbs can be difficult, but sometimes people seem to reveal a lot of telling details by complete accident. Here are 25 dating site pictures that are creepy, funny, and just plain weird:

1. An Invitation to Child Services

Display of wildly inappropriate behavior in front of a small child aside, this lovely lady is clearly under the impression that what she’s doing is attractive.

2. Harry the Zombie

This guy looks like he’s about to gum someone to death, but is really just a sweet old man looking for that special someone. Harry enjoys staring into space, not blinking, breathing heavily, and scratching the bald spots around his lobotomy scars.

3. Insane Clown Posing in Mom’s Kitchen

He just wants a hug. Enjoys toenail panting sessions while engaging in light gossip, not cleaning the kitchen, and literally looking like one of those weird dogs with the curly haired ears.

4. Man Baby

Believe it or not, wearing diapers and acting like what is called an ‘adult baby’ is a real fetish. If you like cleaning feces out of an older man’s ass, this is the guy for you.

5. Look Past the Exterior to Get Into the Interior

Haha, and no, silly girls, I’m not talking about the bakery. Although powdered donuts are delicious and quite a nice treat for any time of the day (especially after long nights of TOTALLY ROCKING OUT to NIGHTWISH). I like to listen to music, buy shirts online, and totally pwn my little brother all day long! I think my dinner is ready I gotta go but I’ll finish my profile a little la

6. Ineptitude

A girl trapped in the year 1996 still doesn’t know how to crop the photograph which only shows half of her face anyway.

7. CatDude42

Cat wallpaper, cat pictures hanging on the wall. If the date consists of playing scrabble at his mom’s house while we all discuss the wacky habits of her cats whilst sipping tea, I’ll be the first to sign up.

8. Cult Leader Jim

Jim wants to show you how he would make every moment together unique and special – by slipping drugs into your drink and convincing you he is an otherworld entity whom you should follow and worship. Men eat first, then the dogs, then the women. Is that hat even real?

9. Confused Mime Climbs Rope

Sexy, right? Say it’s sexy or be crushed!

10. Stay Classy

At least we know she has a sense of humor.

11. Sexual Pikachu

The nightmare your life becomes after taking too much acid.

12. Magician of Tin Foil Castle

The guy who covers the walls in tin foil to stop the government from spying on him is a classic species of lunatic and/or meth addict. Careful not to look directly into the globe, lest you be turned into a cheeto and consumed.

13. Aging Man Who Loves Hot Topic

This guy takes an extra ten minutes to put on and remove all of those accessories every day, and there’s no way a chain or leather strap between fingers can be comfortable. But he does it for fashion.

14. Thugzilla

Thugzilla and his hos have come to take over the city with crappy photoshops and weird, awkward arm flailing.

15. Face Down

Hi everyone. Open minded single male here. This is a picture from when I was at my cousin Larry’s wedding and I got totally drunk as heck off of wine spritzers! If eating and wine spritzers interest you, hit me up!

16. Lizard Man

Some people are great at unintentionally warning others about themselves.

17. AUUUGH

Getting stabbed is so sexy.

18. The Awkward Anus

The butt growing out of her head looks pretty uncomfortable.

19. Noseless

This is obviously nowhere near an accurate portrayal of the person being photographed. A weird and creepy caricature.

20. AnimeLover1996

Ladies what can I say. I work hard in order to play hard. As you may have noticed, my hobbies include anime cinematography (although my mom always takes my manga away when I do something bad! Paws off my manga, mom!) Also I like to play videogames as you may have noticed from my Legend of Zelda: Triforce Edition beanie.

Are fourteen year olds allowed on dating sites?

21. Beaver Poke

Eagerness to poke dead shit with a stick is an important quality to look for in a girl.

22. Princess Hamrietta

The perfect match for Cult Leader Jim, or even the Magician of Tin Foil Castle.

23. Too Old to be Emo

A drowned rat escapes from the shower drain.

24. Ironic Hipster Skank

25. Golden Skull

Another gem from mom’s house. “Mom, take a picture of me with this skull I bought at Goodwill for two dollars.”

The sheer number of perverts that frequent chat sites is astounding. However, one clever iMeetzu user had the will power and time on his or her hands to attempt to fight back with this magnificent piece of aesthetic mastery.

If only I possessed the skill, prowess, and indignation that this fellow surely does. Oh well, some day maybe I too will make a valiant attempt to combat the perverts that frequent such sites.

Do you ever wonder if people think something you said was dumb? Do you ever wish you could retract that retarded statement you made when you were trying to be funny but ended up coming off as a condescending a-hole or ultra retarded retard? No worries, we’ve all been there, and it’s so much easier for people to negatively misinterpret your intended crappy sarcasm while chatting online. But what exactly is it about whatever you said that made it so ridiculously stupid? What is it about you that makes you at times become such an ultimate retard of society? Well, here some noteworthy examples.

1. The Accidental Insult

You’ve finally found the hot girl of your dreams in an anonymous chat room, so long as she isn’t actually a hairy old wizard-hat-wearing pedophile. You’re talking about typical boring crap, such as how horrid the weather is in your crappy location and how often you find yourself partaking in fart wars with your boss at McDonalds while flipping hamburgers. But then, you suddenly realize you just made a massive mistake. The girl mentioned she weighed a mere 100 lbs, and you responded that your scrawny self could carry her fat butt at least a good 5 steps before dropping her on her own head. Of course, this psychotic anorexic hottie took what you said the wrong way, called you a disrespectful a-hole, and disconnected within seconds. So much for the two hours of adventures with perverted 58-year-old foreign men you spent trying to find her.

2. The Undetectable Sarcasm

Often times, while chatting online, people will employ sarcasm to lighten the mood. However, many people in this world simply don’t understand what sarcasm is, or how to detect it. This most especially applies to the uptight and goody goody types, and is an exceptionally prevalent occurrence online, when the tone of your voice, facial expressions, and hand movements are nonexistent. So, although you said you would marry Ms. HottieWithABody6969 over the internet through a video chat with Chris Hansen as your best man and then take her on a honeymoon to 2Girls1Cup in a totally sarcastic manner, she totally misinterpreted you as being 100% serious and subsequently thought you were a World of Warcraft playing clingy virgin stalker, leading to an immediate disconnection.

3. The Comment You Meant To Leave in Your Head

You typed and sent it before you realized what you were doing, “I want to do so many epic things to you right now”. The end result? “SexyMama18: Pervert!” and then a disconnection.

4. The Compliment That Wasn’t As Nice As You Hoped

“You’re like Britney Spears but with better pantie-less pictures”. Disconnect.

5. The Joke That Wasn’t Funny

Honestly, only about 25% of the jokes I hear from people tend to be funny. However, that doesn’t account for the wittier friends versus the friends that are more likely to often say dumb things. Regardless, you really need to consider ahead of time whether or not people will find a certain joke funny. For example, if a group of people were just exclaiming how horrible racism is these days, don’t go up to them and tell a derogatory racial joke – save that for the white power guys you see at the next country fair. Something similar applies online, only you will have to extract information about someone as you go. But it’s not only the audience, it’s also the joke, especially with more generic ones. Seriously, the whole “knock knock whose there” deal lost its funny factor ages ago, so just don’t do it. Granted, you might get an erotic playful response at first from a ridiculously bored chatter, but once you get to the punch line “boo who? why are you crying?”, I would be highly surprised to see a connection remain intact, other than for a quick rebuttal along the lines of “because you didn’t lick my hairy…”.

So there you have it, 5 ways to sound retarded while chatting online. Now you have been educated on 5 things not to do in order to maintain your dignity, but chances are you already knew them anyway.

Not long ago, or at least not too long ago, the Lord of the Rings trilogy lit up our world with its sexy elven princesses, brutal orcs, and short plump hobbits. However, since then I often wonder what became of all such personages? What happened to the once noble Frodo, the nasty-way-too-little-clothes-wearing Smeagol, and the orgasmic ring? I mean, just because the ring and Smeagol fell into a pit of flaming lava doesn’t mean they both actually disintegrated right? At any rate, in a recent random chat log discovery it would seem that Frodo has resurfaced:

http://imeetzu.com/log/182858

Granted, this wasn’t the most entertaining resurfacing occurrence, but at least we now know he’s still out there, and apparently he still thinks Smeagol and the ring somehow survived the flaming lava. Are we missing something here? Maybe Smeagol’s mere touching of the ring had a shielding effect on his body? Maybe a fourth movie is in the works? Or maybe the chatter was just some hairy-chested, furry-backed, wild-haired, and wizard-hat-wearing old pedophile looking for some late night entertainment. The truth alludes us, that is, unless you know something I don’t.

Do you ever just get that urge to piss off random strangers you don’t even know? I know I do. And what better venue to do such a thing than internet chat rooms, a beautiful invention that keeps you out of range from any sort of physical retaliation, while still allowing you to indulge in your sickening habits? Well frankly, I don’t think there is a better venue, especially when you have such great sites nowadays for meeting strangers. At any rate, here are five of my favorite ways to make strangers hate your guts. Disclaimer: These methods are meant solely for internet chat rooms, not real life, so please don’t sue me for a 48-year-old-Guido-damaged wizard cape.

1. Impersonate a Girl

Granted, if you are a girl this won’t work, so what you should do instead is impersonate a guy who already is impersonating a girl. This should still allow you to achieve the same end result, at least if you possess a decent talent at said impersonation. At any rate, the girl impersonation process isn’t too hard to go through. Just remember not to make manly statements like “I just took a massive crap, you should see it!” or “My pubes are extra sticky tonight.” That being said, you want to have a more friendly/flirty/girly attitude in general. Guys looking for girls for perverted reasons are typically the easiest targets of all, because they’re thinking with something besides their heads. The main caveat to this entire impersonation is getting the guy to send you some sort of semi-revealing picture or getting him to confide some sort of love for you, and then writing in all caps “I’M A DUDE I JUST PLAYED YOU LIKE A FOOL BIZNIATCH!” or something similar. Oh yes, also, it’s always better if you pretend to be ultra young. Here’s a useful picture and profile to get you started if you need one:

http://www.imeetzu.com/Sophia

2. Pretend to be Chris Hansen

Yes, I know a lot of people tend to not believe such things these days, but every once in a while you will stumble upon the most gullible of chatters, at which point using such a tactic is thoroughly amusing. And if the chatter is actually a pedophile, maybe he’ll even go as far as to try and defend himself or say something else ridiculous similar to what you would see on To Catch a Predator.

3. Impersonate an iMeetzu Staff Member

I’ve seen this tactic used by people with some insanely funny (or maybe just plain mean) results, including getting the horrified chatter to give up personal contact information such as phone number, address, etc. I know, it doesn’t make sense right? How could a meet strangers site staffer wield such cyber-power? Honestly, I have no clue, but if you play the role well you might be in for some quality entertainment!

4. Just be Plain Mean

This tactic may sound all too simple, but in order for it to be ultimately effective you need to start out as a nice courteous chatter, and then all of the sudden burst out with the witty insulting remarks. The first step should be to garner as much background information as possible about the other chatter, before unleashing a whirlwind of offensive remarks that rile up the chatter and make him or her at least attempt to fire back.

5. Combine the previous 4 Ways

This is essentially the ultimate combination. Start off as a girl (Way #1), then morph into Chris Hansen (Way #2), then say you’re also an iMeetzu staff member now (Way #3), and then after extracting all information possible start throwing insults like that Iraqi guy who threw his shoe at President George W Bush, only with better aim and more rapid fire (Way #4).

So there you have it, 4 basic ways and one more complex but ridiculously rewarding way. Granted, they’re all somewhat rewarding, but the last one is by far the most entertaining, yet at the same time the most difficult to successfully pull off. Good luck with your making strangers hate you endeavors!

We’ve all heard the lame excuse that parents use to steer you away from getting what they want. The old “don’t talk to strangers” thing. But I’ve uncovered the truth about why they don’t want you talking to them, it’s because they want the strangers all to themselves! For instance, ever been offered something from a stranger and said “No!” and ran away because your so-called “parents” told you not to talk to them?

Well they really give you what they say they’re going to. Or has a stranger ever rang the bell when no one’s home and you didn’t answer because your “parents” told you not to? Wrong again! 99% of the time those strangers aren’t strangers at all but the Publishers Clearance House announcing you won a million dollars and now you missed out. Anyways here are the top 5 reasons you SHOULD talk to strangers.

5. To help them find their lost dog. :(

Why wouldn’t you help a creepy man find his dog? Once you find it you get to play with it! And he may even give you…

4. FREE CANDY!

What kid in their right mind would pass up free candy? Halloween only comes around once a year. And think about it…don’t your parents give out free candy? Your parents are strangers to all the little kids that come to your door. So take the candy!

3. Not talking to strangers fosters mistrust and fear of all other people.

Then you grow up believing life is about competition and secrecy and that everyone else is out to get you. You will contribute only misery, misunderstanding, and conflict to the world, and ensure that racism, hate, and war will be a permanent hallmark of humanity. It all starts when we are children. Make the world a better place – talk to strangers before it’s too late.

2. Strangers aren’t really strangers, they’re just friends you haven’t met yet.

Every single stranger out there has the potential to be your next best friend. Why pass up a friendly offer from a stranger?

1. People like this are strangers! :)

http://imeetzu.com/sexymama

Think about it. You can meet strangers like this! I want to talk to a stranger right now!

So get out there, start talking to all the strangers you can! Remember the more strangers you talk to the more lost dogs you can find, the more free candy you get, the more best friends you’ll have, and if you never talk to strangers you may never get to talk to a “sexymama”….